No Wonder Kids don’t Listen – Negative Talk
All baseball academies have a chance at being successful, for a reason you might not guess. Parents use of negative talk pretty much guarantees kids will not want to listen to them, so they would rather work with a baseball academy coach. Negative talk not only puts kids at odds with their parents, it often is the beginning of their loss of desire to keep playing.
So often, I would hear parents saying the following, all spoken in a derogatory voice:
“What are you doing?”
“What did I just tell you?”
“Do you want to be here?
I have better things to spend my money on, if you are going to do that”
“Shouldn’t he/she be practicing this at home?
Parents, who find themselves saying these, need to step back and notice what it is doing to their young ball player – namely, slowly taking their child’s love of playing baseball away. Negative talk slowly erodes kids desire, period.
There is a better way: Forget the Negative Talk
Parents, who stay positive, keep kids interested, having fun, and willing to practice. Following are the positive talk that helps that.
“I like the way you are doing this, but try this next time.” Open with a positive followed by a suggestion.
“Remember, the key is “such and such” – instead of don’t do that
“I know you are trying, it will come” – keep hope alive
“It takes time, stay with it” – expresses the thought that you understand it is difficult
“We will work on it later at home” – we is a comforting though to kids
Of course, the most successful academies offer quality instruction, which is a necessary ingredient for success. However, as long as kids do not want to listen to their parents because of the negative talk, no matter how knowledgeable they may be, baseball academies will prosper.
This does not mean the kids or parents are bad people, but after hearing the way many parents speak to their kids, it is discouraging to think that they believe negative talk works.Parents, who make positive parenting statements, will find much greater peace of mind, or more importantly, give their kids a chance at peace of mind.